


Trailer Trash

by CartoonRenigade



Category: South Park
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Multi, Super angsty, that is multi chapters so good luck, this is kinda a vent fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2019-08-27 12:52:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16702960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CartoonRenigade/pseuds/CartoonRenigade
Summary: Kenny is an envious piece of shit; you know what they say, trash hangs with trash.





	1. The Worst of The Worst

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever fic I'm posting, but don't be afraid to critique, its actually welcomed so I can improve my writing. Title is based off of a mix of Modest Mouse and McCafferty's "Trailer Trash". 
> 
> Fair warning, this is an extreme slow burn. A Character based drama in Kenny's POV so a lot of chapters won't have moments between the main ship.   
> It's all set in the week of the Holiday break in the Junior year of college, so most of the characters are Characters are 21+, the exception being the younger siblings who are in their Senior/Junior (for Ike) year of high school.

Kenny paced outside of the bar, he doesn't care if the people inside can see his shadow move to and though. He already weighed his options for what seemed like months already. All the possible outcomes played like films in his head, most of them ended badly. But he knows if he'd going to make a move it has to be tonight.

He lets out a sigh, the cold air instantly steaming at the exhale. The conversation he had with Bebe weeks ago still fresh on his mind,

_“Just sleep with some one else, you'll get over him in no time.”_

If only it was that easy, sure he used to be a slut but he stopped every thing for him, It was pretty hard to go back to his old ways.

He sits in the gutter, watching the snow fall down. The heavy flakes sticking on to the ground, making the world around him become white as the time passes by.  
He was lost in a trance the only thing taking him out of it was a a dull pain on his hip, he looks up to see Craig looking down at him, a lit cigarette hanging out his mouth. Kenny rolls his eyes, out of all the people why him?

“You on something McCormick?” He breaths out the smoke as he spoke, Kenny doesn't know where the smoke ends and the steaming breath begins.

“Fuck you.” Kenny wraps his arms around his knees, maybe if he makes himself small enough Craig will just leave him alone.

“If that's an offer I'm not interested,” Kenny stayed silent, he kept his eyes focused on the empty lot for sale across the road. “Common' Kenny, Skeeter sent me out here to see who the fuck was scaring all the customers. Now that I know it's you just come inside.” Kenny looks up at Craig again, his face unmoving as he finishes off the cigarette and tosses the butt in to the fresh snow. He sits down besides him, rubbing his hands over his pea coat sleeves. 

Why now? Why is now the time Craig decided to act like old pals? How come not the countless nights he would spend at the bar buying dumb fruity drinks that give him a buzz, talking about his sister and his hardships in life to him?

It's almost enough to make his blood boil.

Instead he just sits there staring at the lot, wondering what Craig's intentions are.

Craig looks up, his teeth chatter from the cold, “look, I'm basically done with my shift, if you want I'll walk you home.” Kenny's brows knit, as Craig stood up, Kenny made no effort to mimic his movements. Craig sighed, he held his hand out, Kenny just stared at it, it looks soft, uncalloused, perfectly manicured, no dry patches even in the middle of harsh December winter. Kenny looks down at his own hands, his knuckles chapped, his fingers calloused, the cuticles flaking and some scabs from hangnails he recently pulled out. He scoffs and instead he stands up on his own, he dusts off the wet dirt on his already soiled jeans.

Kenny keeps his eye fixed on to Craig's, baby blues burning holes in to dark grey. Craig is the first to break the eye contact, he shifts his gaze over to the empty lot, choosing to stare at the sun bleached for sale sign.

“Sure, But your place is closer.” Kenny looks up at the sky, the snow slowly drifts down hitting his already frozen face. “and it seems that snow fall is getting heavier.” He looks back at Craig who mimicked him, though he's still staring up at the sky. He finally looks back down and makes brief eye contact with Kenny, he coughs and looks away, that for sale sign must be the most interesting thing to him.

“Sure,” Craig coughs again, “Whatever,” He starts heading west, towards the residential area of the growing town. They pass by all of the all of the restaurants and bars that were added in the last couple of years.

The walk was silent, the only sound was the occasional heavy breath from Craig when the road went slightly up hill. Kenny walked easily, he tried not to laugh at Craig for getting winded so easily. It's amazing how a former woodwind marching band kid can get so out of shape so quickly.

They finally make the turn into the neighborhood, quiet homes line the block some of them still have their lights on which helps Kenny and Craig navigate through the darkness.

They reach Craig's house, none of the lights are on. Which surprises Kenny, he would've thought his little sister would've been up studding for her finals. He pulls out his phone and sends Karen a quick text reminding her to sleep for the night or at least take a quick break.

“Planning on leaving?” Kenny looks up from his phone, the front door to the house is already open. Craig stands in the door way, blocking Kenny from entering.

“No, just checking on something.” Craig just hums in response, he makes his way through the threshold, and immediately shrugs off his jacket, Kenny follows him in gently shutting the door and doing the same.

“Take your boots off, but make sure to take them up with you.” Craig keeps his voice low as he quietly takes off his work shoes. The low growl of Craig's voice sends shivers down Kenny's spine.

Who knew a nasal voice can sound sexy.

Kenny complies and kicks off his work boots, making sure to not make too much sound. He and Craig carefully make their way up the carpeted stairs. Kenny keeps his eyes fixed on Craig's stepping pattern, noting that he climbs up in an odd way, most likely to avoid any creaking steps. He follows the exact pattern careful to not hit any of the decorations on the wall with the stuff he's carrying.

Upstairs is pitch black, not even a cheep night light to make navigating easier. Kenny accidentally bumped in to Craig, he wanted to let out a yelp but it came out as more of a low groan. Instead of shushing him or even reacting Craig opened the door to his room, he finally flicks on the light.

Kenny blinks to let his eyes adjust to the sudden bright. Though he instantly regrets it, he looks around Craig's barren room. Everything about it is completely different from their childhood. The walls which were once painted a rich royal blue, covered in posters of the universe, bands and Si-Fi films are now barren and off white. The only thing that's the same is the furniture that seems too small for him, the small desk he's had since the 4th grade sits in the corner, and his bed right across from it. Even the small twin sized bed that once had star wars sheets seemed to have received a down grade, with charcoal bedding being the only thing to add any sort of character.

Kenny wants to laugh, not sure if it's in pity or sheer enjoyment that it seems that Craig finally is getting his karmic retribution for how shitty he treated every one in his life.  
Instead he just stands in the middle of the room, probably being in the way of Craig's nightly routine.

“Go ahead and take the bed,” Craig leaves the room, Kenny drops of his boots by the door and drapes his jacket over the empty dresser. He looks down at his jeans caked in dirt and cement then back at Craig's bed.. Maybe he should've wore his nice pants or at least changed after work. He pulls at the lose pant leg, some dust clings to his finger tips. He contemplates just taking them off and sleeping in his boxers, as he's about to remove his pants he hears the door creak open. He turns around to see Craig, changed into pajama bottoms and holding a sleeping bag. “Why aren't you laying down?”

“I didn't want to get your bed dirty.” Craig looks at Kenny eyebrows scrunched in confusion, Kenny stubbly points down to his bottom half, Craig's eyes trail down and he sighs when he sees the soiled pants. He moves over to his dresser and he pulls out a pair of green flannel pants, Kenny examines them, they look a little too small for Craig but seem to be the perfect fit for him. Instead of trying to be modest, he easily strips off his jeans and puts on the pants. Craig pays him no mind while he readies the sleeping bag, he grabs one of the two pillows off his bed and tosses it on the floor.

“You want me to shut the lights?”

“Sure,” Kenny flicked off the light, he uses the moon light peeking through the window to maneuver over Craig so he can reach the bed. He 'accidentally' kicked Craig as he got on the bed, no response was given, so he shuffles and makes himself comfortable. At least the sheets are soft.

Kenny can only stare up at the ceiling, star shapes are stained on the stucco roof. Probably there from all the nights where Craig would smoke in his room, some of those nights Kenny would join him. Providing some more illicit substances to try out, those were the oddest nights of his school life, he would stay at the foot of the bed while Craig and Tweek would cuddle up with each other.

Kenny would imagine that they were a big blob that would move as one, kinda like an ameba in the middle of reproduction, he never voiced it, rather he would always jokingly ask for a threesome. Though if they did say yes Kenny wouldn't hesitate to actually join.

They never said yes.

Kenny turns and looks out to the silent room, he eyes his jacket and pants neatly folded on the dresser. He should've grabbed his phone, it would've served at a good distraction so he could sneak out when Craig finally went to sleep. Instead he's left alone with his own thoughts as he waits for the loud snoring of Craig to fill the room.

“Are you still awake?” Kenny peeked over the bed at the question, he locks eyes with Craig. Craig sits up from where he laid, cracks his back then sands up, choosing to sit on his bed. “You wanna smoke?”

Kenny shrugs, just like old times, “why not.” Craig stood up, he made his way to his closet, and grabbed a towel and stuffs it under his door and makes his way to open the window. Kenny just watches him from the bed, all of this giving him a sense of deja vu. Craig rummages through his dresser and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, he pulls one out and tosses the pack to Kenny. Kenny pulls one and finds a small lighter in the pack. He lights up taking in a heavy breath letting the tar smoke fill his lungs.

“just like old times, huh?” Craig makes his way back to the bed, Kenny lets out a huff of air, funny how they thought the same thing. Craig reaches for the pack to retrieve the lighter, Kenny takes the opportunity and instead holds Craig by the back of his neck. Carefully placing the cigarettes tip to tip.

He smirks at the wide eyed expression Craig initially gave him. He hears the other breath in deeply, his cigarette finally lit. Kenny leans back and lets his head lull on to the headboard. He takes another drag, it's been forever since his last smoke so the room feels a little more tipsy with each heavy drag he takes.

They don't talk for a while, they let the sound of static from their ears fill out the room with the occasional breath out.

“So, why were you pacing out side of the bar tonight?” It was a simple question, but it left Kenny confused and angry. Again Craig is pretending to be best friends, after two years of apathy to any sort of relationship with him.

“Just doing some thinkin',” Craig hums as he grabs the cigarette from Kenny's mouth, they don't really remember when they decided to just share instead of diminishing the pack by both smoking simultaneously.

“sounds like bullshit.” he takes a drag and blows it out the window. Kenny watches him with eyes filled with scrutiny.

“You caught me, I was pacing because I was practicing lines to audition for the local play.” Craig lifted his eyebrow, signaling to Kenny that he caught his attention. “I'm only doing it because the story is original and quite interesting.” He wonders how long he can keep the lie going. “It's about these two people, who are the last people on earth, but they hate each other. They spend majority of the play trying to find others some one who would understand them, knowing that the other could never. But, like, towards the end they realize that they have to give in to their loneliness and just accept that they only have each other.”

“sounds boring.” Craig tosses the butt out the window, Kenny just keeps his eyes trained on him.

“well of course you wouldn't like it, you never understood art.” Craig just scoffs, He doesn't argue. Kenny takes it as a small victory.  
Craig pulls his phone from the pocket of his sleep pants, he looks up at Kenny, “well it's already 3am, it's probably time to head to bed.”

“Actually I think I'm gonna head out.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Kenny gets up off the bed, he takes a moment to look out the window, the snow never did pick up. The whole time it stayed at a slow pace, gently falling straight down.

“You really don't have to,” Kenny looked at Craig, he would say that his voice sounded almost pleading, maybe he felt as lonely as Kenny did. Instead of humoring him, Kenny just grabbed his clothes.

“Is it alright if I borrow these for a while?” He pulls on the pajama bottoms, Craig grimaced, Kenny knows why but he plays innocent. A piece of him wants to intentionally hurt Craig.

“Yeah sure.” With that Kenny, picks up his boots and kicks away the towel from under the door.

“Have a good night.” Kenny whispers as he gently closes the door to the room. He slowly makes his way down stairs careful to make no sound, he slips out the front door and stars putting on his boots on the stoop.

“Fuck you” He basically mouths at how quiet he says it. The words quickly dissipating like the puff of steam.


	2. They Will Receive Their Rewards

“See you later!” Karen hops out of the beat up old car that Kenny managed to buy last year, most of his savings went in to the rusted old lemon that runs on duct tape and miracles. But at least it's a step up from the old truck his dad left behind.

“I'll pick you up when you text me!” he manages to blurt out before she closes the door.

“Nah, I'm going to Trish's today, end of the semester sleep over, remember?”

“Shit” He leans back in the seat, letting out a heavy sigh,“yeah, you packed clothes right?” Karen pats her bulging backpack with her hand.

“Who do you take me for?” she smiles at her brother. The bell rings signaling that it's time for class.“See you.” She speed walks away while Kenny drives out of the student drop off. He turns up the radio and flips through the channels trying to find one that is playing music instead of some boring morning show. He lands on a top 40 station playing some popsong with an R&B flare.

He drums along to the slow melodic beat, as he makes his way back into South Park. He's glad that his boss let him out on vacation early. He now has more time to spend with Karen and Kevin. Soon both of them will be out on their own work breaks, though Kevin only gets two days off for the actual holidays.

But its still enough time for the new and improved “McCormick Family Christmas”.

Kenny still thinks he should try to copyright the phrase.

It was a new tradition Kenny came up with when he woke up on Christmas morning to both his parents missing. He paced the whole house wondering what he should do to make sure Karen and Kevin don't get upset. He settled on making a big breakfast that was just over cooked toaster waffles and a whole carton of eggs that might have been expired. But it worked out. When his siblings started questioning where their parents were he lied saying that they were out getting them presents, since Santa for got to visit their house. Karen laughed at how silly Santa is for forgetting them again for the 3rd year in a row. Kenny gives his sister a pained smile, how can a 9 year old be so innocent? When he was that age he was already thinking about getting laid.

They spent the whole day watching cheesy Will Farrel comedies, by Karen's request. When it was around time for their parents to be back, Kenny instead invited his siblings out to City Wok for a nice dinner. They walked to the cheep restaurant, thankful that it was still open. When Lu Kim saw Kenny he easily stuck up a conversation with his old employee. He offered a discounted meals to him which he gladly accepted.

The McCormick kids ate to their hears content, while Kenny and his former boss shared crazy work stories. When they made it back home they were too tired to even think about their parents or lack of presents. Instead they slept off their full bellies leaving the issue for a later date.

***

Kenny pulls up to his drive way, the junker truck still parked outside, a sign that Kevin is still home. He walks through the front door with a little more gusto than necessary. “I'm home!” Kenny starts unlacing his boots, glad that he doesn't have to be overly conscious of how much noise he's making.

“Oh, hew.” Kevin walks out of the kitchen with a sandwich in his hand with a obvious bite taken out of it. He swallows his half chewed bite, “I thought you sill had work,”

“No, out for the season. Boss decided to be nice this year.”

“ah, can I borrow your car then?” Kenny let out a sharp laugh.

“No, you almost fucked it up last time.”

“It's not my fault that dumb dog got in my way!”

“Whatever, you're still not driving it.”

Kenny walks past him in to the kitchen, he makes a clicking sound as he looks through the refrigerator for something to eat. He settles on a water bottle for now, he can probably drive to McDonald's or to Tweak Bros for breakfast once Kevin leaves.

“Oh, by the way, do you think you can do the oil change tomorrow?” Kenny looks over at Kevin he looks at his phone, 20 more minuets until his brother has to go into work, that should be enough for him to make breakfast.

Why spend money if you can have your brother do it for you?

“Sure, if you feed me before you go.” Kevin sighed, he makes the fist step to the fridge.

“The usual?”

Kenny smiles and pats Kevin on the back on his way to the dining set in the kitchen “You're the best”. He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through Facebook, his feed is filled with people sharing memes about finals and general excitement for the break coming up. Kenny lingers on a photo Stan posted a few hours ago; he, Kyle and Cartman are at what seems to be a frat party. Sometimes Kenny wishes he could be there but he knows how dangerous that can be.

Instead he likes and leaves a comment. _'My three boyfriends looking cute as always.'_  he embellishes the comment with an obscene amount of emojis.

Feeling satisfied he sets his phone down and tries to strike up a conversation with Kevin. It was pleasant since most of it consisted of work stories.

Kevin soon left Kenny all alone in the small house that suddenly seemed too big. He stays at the kitchen table scrolling through all of his social media, a chat head pops up on his screen.

 **Eric Theodore Cartman** : _Aye!_

Kenny lets out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding, of course it was Cartman. Who else would want to talk to him?

 **Kenny McCormick** : _What do you want?_

 **Eric Theodore Cartman** : _Wow, friendly as always Any way We're coming back,_

_like tonightish It depends if the jew and his boyfriend can get their shit together by 5, the dumb fucks took forever to finish their finals_

_The idiots forgot to pack last night, so now their rushing around like chickens with their heads cut off_

_P_ _retty hilarious if you ask me_

_[_ _Attached video]_

Kenny presses play on the video, Kyle and Stan are pacing back and forth in their shared apartment, both of them yelling over each other about mundane things.

“Why the hell are you taking you're shampoo your going to your parent's house!” Kyle pulls out the black bottle of cheep 'MANLY' Shampoo form Stan's duffel bag. Stan emerges on what Kenny guesses his bedroom.

“Dude leave it,”

“Where the hell are you going to put all of your important stuff like a ray-zor”Kyle's voice hold pure malice, a tall tell sign he hates Stan growing a beard. Which at this point seems more like a child with a black marker had a field day on his face. “Wait,” Kyle looks directly at the camera, “Are you fucking kidding me? Are you recording us?”

“I'm just showing Kinny how the two love birds are getting along,”

The recording stopped after Eric let out a muffled yell, Kenny easily recognized it as Kyle trying to smother him.

 **Kenny McCormick** : _Good Job, bet you have a nice shiner for the break_

_Don't forget to give update photos [kiss face emoji]_

They aren't actually dating right? It was the usual spat that they had as friends right? God he hates feeling like a love sick puppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is more of a filler chapter but I feel it's important to get a feel of the sibling relationship.  
> also I have a  Tumblr  so if you want to yell at me or see other things I do you can keep up there.


	3. You're Fit Ta Learn the Proper Meaning of a Beatdown

The feeling of his phone vibrating on his chest woke Kenny up, his head feels heavy and his headache only gets worse when he hears Guy Fieri talking about a burger with pure jubilation.

Kevin must be rubbing off on him, he usually didn't unironically watch food network.

Ignoring the pounding in his head he looks at his phone, which stopped buzzing the second he lifted it, just his luck. If it's important they'll call back. He pockets his phone and walks into the kitchen, after grabbing a water bottle he rummages through the drawers to see if he can find something to help with the headache.

There should still be some of their parent's stash some where.

Finally in the junk drawer he finds a slim bright orange bottle; Carol McCormick, OxyCodone, expiration date four years ago. He shakes out the last two pills he takes one now and puts the other in his pocket. His phone rings again, this time he looks at his screen and scowls.

“What happened to sending me update photos baby?”

“what?” Kenny perked up at the sudden sound of Kyle's voice, even if he did seem very annoyed.

“Oh, nothing, where's Eric?” Kenny starts pacing his whole kitchen to help quell his nerves, hopefully the pill kicks in soon.

“He's driving right now, but he told me to call you since you didn't answer his messages, he wanted to make sure you weren't dead or something.” Kenny let out a chuckle that he hopes sounded lighthearted.

“Sorry to disappoint but I'm very much alive.” Kyle sighs, even though he can't see him Kenny fidgets even more knowing that he said the wrong thing.

“Anyway, we're on our way, and we'll probably be there at five.” Five? It should take them only 3 hours to get here from Denver. What time is it?

“Nice you guys want to go out to eat when you get here?”

“You, Stan and Cartman probably can, but my mom wants me to go to the signaguge for the first night of Hanukkah.”

“uhh, can you put me on speaker? Y'all are in the same car right?”

“Yeah, hold on a sec.” There's a brief moment of rustling. “You're on.”

“Hey Ken!”

“Oh, uh, hi Stan. So do you guys want to get dinner together?”

“Can't, Mom wants me to meet her new boyfriend.”

“Tisk, Stan how 'bout you?” Kenny really hopes that Stan can't make it,

“Yeah, I'm available, honestly I don't want to go home today,” Kenny hums.

“You wanna talk about it?” Both Kyle and Cartman groan.

“Do it on your own time fags, I'm sick and tired of hearing his bitching and moaning.” Kenny tries to stifle a laugh, knowing Stan and his family it's probably some mundane issue. Like randy trying to start up a rabbit farm or some other dumb shit like that.

“Oh, uhh, alright, Stan you want to meet at IHOP?”

“Is it okay if we go to Skeeter's instead?” Kenny could hear Kyle mumble something under his breath.

“Uh, yeah that fine. Umm, would six work for you? you can probably hide out at Eric's for an hour.”

“AYE! Don't invite people to MY house!”

“Wa- did – seem- lost- ar- far-.”

Kenny promptly hangs up the call, he sighs and leans against the counter.

Tonight is gonna be a long one.

***

Kenny finishes buttoning his shirt, a burnt orange, something Karen thought would look good on him. He's still not sure if she's right but he enjoys the sentiment. He doesn't even know why he's even putting in so much effort in his clothes. He sighs and pops a peppermint candy in his mouth, he rolls it back and forth as he last minuet checks for all the things he needs; keys, wallet, pill everything checks out. He runs his hands through his short hair, growing out a little too long for his liking.

When he steps out into the living room he sees Kevin already changed out of his uniform, sitting on the couch eating what ever he managed to get from his job. He glanced at Kenny and gave a knowing smirk.

“Hot date?”

“No, the guys are back in town.” Kevin just hummed.

“I don't know what time I'll be back, also Karen's at her friends so you don't have to wait up for us.”

“Awigh” Kenny, did his final adjusting to his outfit before putting on his jacket, a worn down brown leather racer jacket, another gift from Karen. He pulls out his phone and dials in Stan's number. On the fifth ring he answers.

“Hey,”

“Yo, are you there already or do you want me to pick you up?” Kenny closes the front door behind him, he makes sure to lock after himself. He readies his car keys, so he can easily get in.

“Yeah, I've been here for a while, like, an hour or so.”

“dude why didn't you call me?” Kenny starts up his car, letting the motor run.

“I thought you were busy, so I kinda just waited and caught up with my uncle. It's really fine dude, like, it was a conversation I needed to have with him, ya know.”

“Sure?” Stan chuckles on the other end.

“I, uh, I'm gonna be there in like three minuets. You think you can hold your self till then?” another soft laugh from Stan.

“yeah, see you soon bud.”

***

Kenny's teeth instantly stopped chattering when he entered the bar, maybe he should've wore his parka instead of putting in an effort on his looks.

With his arms crossed he makes his way over to the bar where he sees Stan talking to Craig. He slowly walks up being careful to not draw any attention to himself, he sits down on the stool next to Stan and gently pats his shoulder.

The smile Stan gives him is one of the most genuine warm thing Kenny has experienced as of late, he can't stop the little skip his heart does when he sees it.

“Hey Ken!” Kenny waited for Craig to leave, he doesn't want to start a conversation that might end up heavy with some one eavesdropping. “You feeling a little better Stan?” Kenny looks down at the half empty wine bottle, some red blend that he would never care to learn the name of.

“Yeah” He takes a final gulp of what ever was left in his glass.

“How much did you drink?” Kenny leans in and whispers in his ear.

“Just that and some of Jimbo's” Kenny hums and keeps his eyes on Stan.

“Do you want to walk around? There's a couple of new shops that opened during the fall.” Stan's smile falters.

“I know you're trying to be a good friend but you don't have to baby me.” He pours more wine in to his glass.

“Alright,” Kenny flicks his hands up in defeat, “you're right, you do you dude”The air stays thick for a while, neither of them willing to break the tension. “Hey Skeeter, can I get another glass here?” Skeeter moves as if he's going to get a get glass out for Kenny but instead a delicate wine glass is slammed down on the bar, Kenny looks at Craig, his eyes filled with fire but his face is painted in apathy.

Good.

Stan and Kenny finish the bottle in silence, any conversation that was originally planed completely thrown out the window. Soon the one bottle turned to three. Kenny feels his body warm up and his head gets fuzzy, he feels bold. He licks his lips and glances at Stan.

“You wanna walk to the pond? You know old time's sake and we can, like, talk there.” Stan looks at him, his gaze much more focused than Kenny's. Of course he's no light weight, his body is probably already dead inside from the years of heavy drinking. He gives Kenny a tight lipped smile, his eyes crinkle at the edges.

“Yeah, sure.”

The walk was quiet, the crunch of fresh snow fills the air as they walk to the north bank of the small pond. Maybe Kenny should just fuck Stan, how lovely would it be to ruin not only his relationship with Kyle but his 'super best friends' relation ship with him in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh, the title kinda does have to do with the chapter if you squint, but it mainly has to do with the fact that I was listing to a shit ton of Death Grips while writing this chapter.


	4. Maybe It Was Me Who Was Fucking Up

Kyle gripped tighter on the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, Kenny sat in the back of the car shivering reeking of stagnate pond water, the whole car smells disgusting. He looks at Kyle's stern face in the rear view mirror, his brows knit and face red from sheer anger. He looks at hims self briefly, his left eye's swollen and his lip is browning from the caked blood. At least the handsome golden boy doesn't look any better than he does.

“Ky-” Kenny looked at Stan, how dumb can he be? As if Kyle would even take the time to hear them out.

“Shut it.”

The rest of the car ride was in complete silence the only sound is the heater blasting. Once they reached Stan's house Kyle put his car in park.

“Look I'm s-” Stan looked at Kyle his deep blue eyes pleading and looking for any ounce of sympathy on Kyle's face.

“Get out.”

“Dude just le-”

“Get out! Now.” Stan, opens the door, he looks over to Kyle, his expression the exact same as one of a kicked puppy. He picks up his bag, closes the car door behind him. Even after he enters in the house and the light to his room flicks Kyle stays parked on the road, he sighs and rests his head on the steering wheel.

Kenny shifts uncomfortably, should he leave? He slowly moves to open the door, he pulls on the handle only to find out that the child safety lock is activated. He looks over to the rear view once more his eyes catch Kyle's, out of reflex Kenny looks out the window.

“Care to explain what happened? Why I has to leave sabbath because two fucking idiots called me in the middle of service? Why I'm going to have to listen to my mom bitching at me of being disrespectful to God?” Kenny swallow the heavy lump in his throat. This whole situation is stupid, How was he supposed to know fake wrestling match would actually tun in to a real one? It was supposed to end up in a kiss and them acting like embarrassed school boys not an actual act of dominance.

“You know, boys will be boys.” He offer a weak smile. Kyle runs his hands through his hair, the small curls hugging his fingers, he lets out a shaky breath. A firm indicator that Kenny said the wrong thing.

“You didn't tell him any thing did you?”

“What?” Is that what he was upset over? “No, we were talking about what was happening with his family, then like, I told him a good ol' tussle would make him feel better.” Kyle finally shifts gears and slowly makes hid way over the train tracks, which incidentally are now blocked off for an incoming freight train.

The hazard lights flash while they sit in contemplation.

“Look, you can even ask him for the story tomorrow if it's bothering you that much.”

“No, that's” He groans. “It's just,” He pinches the bridge of his nose, a mannerism he picked up from Stan over the years. “Do you think we made a mistake?” The sound of the passing train was defining.

Did he think every thing was a mistake?

Yes, of course he did. Who wouldn't think that having an almost six year secret relationship with some one you are close to was a mistake? Kenny kept his eyes down, not enough confidence to meet his eyes with Kyle, even if it is through a mirror.

“Do you?” Kyle looked dead in front of him, his grip pulsing, ignoring the question that was reversed on to him.

“I, uh, shit.” The train finally passes, it takes a couple of seconds for the safety gates to raise. Kyle made no effort to drive over the tracks they sat there in the middle of the road. “I do and I don't.” finally the car starts moving. “I regret the way it happened but I don't regret 'us', if that makes sense?”

How diplomatic, so much so that Kenny wants to laugh.

“Yeah me too.” Of course he chooses the cowards way out.

“I know it doesn't seem like it but I really do miss you.” the car is slowly rolling down the street, Kenny doesn't even think that it's going ten miles per hour. “It's just that school is pretty stressful, and it's pretty hard to keep in contact when it's testing season.” Kenny is half listening he knows this usual song and dance, he knows how it's going to end.

“It's alright dude, you know me, I'm here when ever you need me.” He gives a smile that he hopes looks real. They pull up to Kenny's house, Kyle drives up and parks on the curb the driveway is completely empty. Kenny wished that any of his siblings was home so he could have a scapegoat. He knows he can say no, but he won't, he's weak.

“Is it okay if I stay over?” Say no, tell him no.

“Yeah of course” Pathetic.

They exit the car, Kenny fishing out his keys from his pants pocket and opens up the front door and flicks on the light, the house is quiet and smells of drying laundry. He sat on the couch as Kyle followed him in he sat on the other end of the peeling faux leather couch. Kenny immediately tuned on the TV, some cooking competition show with Alton Brown is playing, Kenny's too nervous to even care which one it is.

“Dude, you're starting to make a puddle.” Kenny fazes out of his trance and looks at Kyle confused. Kyle lifts his eyebrow and looks over Kenny's body, he follows his gaze only to realize that he's still drenched from the pond.

“Shit,” Kenny abruptly stands up and removes the cushion, he paces the small room trying to find a good spot to dry it out. He only stops when Kyle grabs his hand, it stings a little since he ignored the cut on his knuckle.

“I'll take car of it, just go take a shower.” Kyle tilts his head over to the bath room. Kenny just nods and makes his way over to the hall. He let out a sigh, finally steadying out his breathing. He hates how he's making him self tense, he shouldn't be tense. It's Kyle for god's sake, the little snot nosed red headed kid the lived down the block. So what if he grew taller, handsome, and well rounded in comparison to every one in this hick town. Deep down he's still the self righteous piece of shit he grew to love, right?

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh this was actually planned since the first ever draft i wrote last year.  
> Surprise?  
> [chapter title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqpnbSFprB4)


	5. I Can't Tell If You I like it, I Like It

Kenny pulls back the clear plastic shower curtain, he instantly tenses back up once he steps back out in to the much colder restroom. He just wants to go back in, he doesn't even want to deal with his guest, would it be worth it to kill himself over something like this? Probably not, he doesn't even know where his parents are, or if they're even still alive. 

Instead he just wipes off the mirror and stares at himself.

How the fuck did he even get laid in the first place, his skin is dry and textured, his eyes are dull, his “beard” if he can even call it that is just a patchy 5'o clock shadow that took months to grow out,  
teeth stained from heavy drug use. 

He looks like average white trash, how did anyone find him charming?

Instead of mulling over it he wraps a towel around his waist, fuck it if Kyle sees him naked. They'll probably both be by the end of the night, as it always does when he stays over. 

When Kenny opens the door he almost bumps into Kyle, he let out a small yell, not expecting him to be at the other side of the door.

“Shit, sorry, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I heard the tap stop but you never came out.” Kyle places his hand on his bare shoulder, the heat radiating off it makes Kenny feel something. He looks up to see the smirk on Kyle's face, He finally pinned the the emotion as lust. 

“Yeah, just doing some thinking.” Kyle leans down and places a small kiss on his temple.

“Don't think too hard,” a kiss on his nose. “I don't want to lose you.” finally a kiss on the mouth. 

There was no hesitation to deepen it Kyle easily slipped his toung. Kenny lets him have dominance, he knows he gets off on it. Kyle's hands roam over Kenny's body, It's gentle enough that Kenny feels no pain when his hands brush over the freshly forming bruises. 

This is new, their usual routine would just be kissing, grinding, then fucking, Kenny trying to convince Kyle to sleep over and Kyle coming up with a flimsy excuse that usually included his mother. Maybe he finally is willing to commit, maybe college helped him grow a little more confident in himself, maybe Kenny is coming up with delusions to make himself feel better.  
Feeling a pair of chapped lips on his forehead snaps Kenny away from his train of thought, “You okay?” 

“Yeah, just trying to remember where I put the lube and shit.” 

“Did you move them?” 

“Yeah, Karen accidentally found it when she was doing laundry.” Kyle let out a chuckle.

“Poor thing is probably scared for life now.” 

“Nah, she just yelled at me to find a better hiding place cause this was the fifth time.” Kyle pulled back and looked at Kenny with a confused expression, He couldn't help but smile at how dumbly he was looking at him. “I'm joking... kinda, it's a long story but right now I want my dick sucked.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ dude.” 

“What? You made me hot and bothered. You need to pay for that.” Kenny quickly pinched at Kyle's ass, how he managed to keep his dumb thick bubble butt is up in the air. Kenny knows that he's not doing any more sports and all he does is sit around all day, but damn he looks exactly like he did when he was the Varsity captain for the basketball team. The same bright brown eyes, pale face clear of any blemishes, his soft auburn hair that feels like velour when Kenny runs his hands trough it. 

God Kenny wants to destroy him. He wishes that at least once he can be inside him and watch him come undone. 

“I need to pay for it?” By now any erection Kenny might have had is completely gone, he removes the towel around his waist to reveal his flaccid dick.

“Yeah, look how sad he's got.” Kenny juts his hips out to emphasize his point, he blushes a little when he feels Kyle's eyes on his junk.

“Aww, poor dude, what can I do to cheer him up?” 

“You can give him a lil' kiss.” 

“Ugh- alright I'm done with this role play its getting creepy.” 

“Yeah, but you'll still such my dick though, right?” 

Kyle sucks his tongue, “I dunno man, haven't done it in a while, how bout you show me how it's done?” 

“Seriously, you don't see me in months and you treat me like this?” Kenny keeps his voice light as if he's joking, he hopes it masks the hurt well. Kyle kisses him, a soft and gentle kiss. 

“Sorry, you know I'm just joking around.” Another quick kiss, “I can get on my knees right now if you want.” Kenny pulls away from the arms around his waist and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“No- it- I- Fuck,” Kyle reaches out and grabs Kenny's hand, he kisses his palm, Fuck Kenny loves it when he does dumb cute shit like that. 

“It's alright you don't have to push yourself to say anything.” Again with the glazing over, Kenny can play at this game too. He runs his hand behind Kyle's neck and pulls him down in to a kiss. His hands scramble to undo the buttons on Kyle's shirt. He feels him smile as he shrugs it off, he helps him take it completely off of his torso. The make their way to the bed, Kenny keeping control of the situation, as soon as the back of Kyle's knees hit the bed he's on his back looking up at Kenny straddling him. 

God Kenny hopes he looks hot. 

Kyle runs his hand from his lower back tracing the curve of his thigh, a good sign. 

“you want me to prep or will you do it for me?” Kenny grabs Kyle's hand moving it closer to the cleft of his ass. Kyle gives a little squeeze. 

“I need lube,” He emphasized his point by giving Kenny a light smack on his ass. 

“Shit- Fuck, yeah lemme grab it.” Kenny backs off of the bed carefully regaining his footing, he squats down pulling out a plastic bin from under his bed. He moves a couple of toys around, he finally pulls out a couple of packets of sample lubes. 

“What happened to the bottles you had?”

“Expired, tried using them once and gave myself a rash.” Kenny finally pulls out a condom, he lightly squeezes the packet to see if it's still good. He tosses everything on to the bed and retakes his place on top of Kyle. He slowly moves down to kiss Kyle but is gently pushed away.

“Wait I think I'm getting a call.” Kenny swings his leg over and sits on the bed, his nakedness sudden;y becomes apparent to him, he covers himself with the thin duvet while he watches Kyle pace his small room. He glazes over the sound of Kyle's voice, he already knows this song and dance he's just upset that it came before he could. 

Kyle sighs and puts his phone back in his pocket, he picks up his shirt. “Sorry, my mom is bitching at me, she thought it was going to be a quick pick up and drop off.” He looks at Kenny, a fake sympathetic face meeting another.

“It's alright dude, I know how she is.” 

“Again sorry about that,” Kyle finishes butting up his shirt, taking the extra time to tuck it back in.

“No, no that's alright. Its fine,” Kenny wants to bite his tongue off “Really.” a fake smile is plastered on his face. Kyle kisses his forehead, this is new and he hates it. 

“I'll text you, so we can see each other.” 

“alright, be safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Inspo 


	6. Give Me Everything I Ever Need or Just Enough so I Can Go to Sleep

Kenny sat at the kitchen table taking sips of the shitty instant coffee that went bad a while back, the sun has already fully risen and he didn't get any sleep. He'll hate himself later but right now he's too busy thinking over every thing that happened last night. It was rare for things to end before they start, he would say it didn't bother him but something about the sudden abrupt end doesn't settle well with him. He's only pulled out from his thoughts when he hears the front door latch close. He stands at the archway that leads to the kitchen hand ready to grab the bat. He lets out a sigh when he sees it's Kevin.

“Odd for you to stay out so late.” Kevin jumped and quickly turned around, he casually shrugged when he saw that it was just Kenny. 

“Was a special night.” He looks down a bashful expression paints his face. 

“Oh? Gotta lady?” Kevin shifts his eyes away from Kenny's. 

“I guess you can say that.” Kenny smirks when he sees a light dusting of pink on his brother's cheeks. 

“Just be safe, we don't need any more mouths to feed.” Kenny goes back into the kitchen to dump out whatever is left in his mug. 

“Why are you awake? Usually on your days off you're in bed till ten.” Kenny expected Kevin to just go to his room to sleep until it was time for his shift. He shrugged at the question.

“I think my body is used to my work schedule.” a simple lie, he doesn't even have to since his siblings know about Kyle but he just doesn't want to have the same exact conversation for the umpteenth time. “I think I'm gonna go for a jog.” Kevin looked at him, his eyes boring into Kenny’s. He already knows that Kevin's looking for the pinpoint pupils that he used to have every time he went on a ‘jog’. 

“Alright, I'm gonna go sleep.” With that they parted, Kenny just slips on his boots and grabs his parka making sure to put his house keys in the pocket. Stepping out side made him regret not changing, the thin fleece sweatpants and wife beater do nothing to provide warmth. 

***  


Instead of a jog he just spent the time walking around the neighborhood, aimlessly, trying to take his mind off of everything. He only stops when he reaches the edge of Stark's pond, he hates how he's drawn to here, he sits on the tipped log stretching out his legs. The water is calm, there's no breeze or any sound of nature. He takes a deep breath in the cool air instantly prickling his lungs, he closes his eyes and lets it out in a steady stream.

He's not really one for meditation but maybe he can start. He takes another deep breath in, a crunching sound took him out causing him to cough out the cold air.

“Shit sorry dude.” Kenny looked to his right to see Stan sheepishly grinning at him. “didn't mean to disturb you.” Kenny just turned back around to look out to the bright morning sun over the horizon.

“It's alright.” He looks down at his feet, just anywhere but Stan. “What brings you out here so early.”

“I need to find my wallet, 'least I hope it's here.” Kenny looks at Stan from the corner of his eye, he's staring out to the bank of the pond, his handsome features look more dull. He probably didn't sleep at all last night ether. “Did you come to pick up your car?” 

Shit.

“Yeah.” A lie, a simple little white lie that could easily keep going.

“Where is it, I thought you left it at the bar?” 

“It's still there, I just started walking before sunrise, Wanted to see it here, you know aesthetics.” Stan just hummed, Kenny knows how flimsy his lie is he's just glad that he isn't calling him out on it.

“You want breakfast? If we find my wallet we can head to Tweaks’, You know, to kinda make up for last night.”  Kenny doesn't want to spend any more time with Stan, he just wanted to clear his mind and head back home.

The sympathetic face on Stan makes Kenny accept his offer.

***

“Order for Stan.” A perky little brunette girl smiles brightly at Stan when he gets up to retrieve the coffees and breakfast sandwiches. Kenny can't help but smirk, the golden boy even with his shitty patchy beard still manages to make people swoon. Something Kenny knows he could never achieve.

Stan places the tray of goods on the small cafe table. “Do you think Kyle is still mad at us?” Kenny looked up from his coffee, pouring in one of those small plastic cups of cream.

“I dunno dude,” he stirs the liquid seeing it become more pale by the second. “He didn't seem too angry when he dropped me off.”

“Are you sure? He didn't come home till two hours after he left from my parent’s place.” Shit, fuck.

“Uhh, Well, fuck I don't know man. He dropped me off but I don't know where he went after that.” Kenny took a bite of his sandwich, “Wait, how the hell do you know he didn't come home till then?”

Stan blushed keeping his eyes off of Kenny's face. “I-i uh, I kept looking out my window to see if he made it home safely.” He took a sip while staring out the cafe's window. “That's no too weird right?”

“It kinda is dude.” Kenny plays with the lid of his cup of coffee, “Do you have a crush on him or somethin'” He made sure to add a chuckle.

“No, I don't” Stan sighs and moves his eyes back to Kenny a quick emotion flashes through them, Kenny can’t tell if it's fear or regret. Maybe a mix of both. “It's just, he's been acting off, like _really_ off,” Stan leans in a little closer, Kenny instinctively leans in. “He's been inviting Cartman to our outings.” A piece of Kenny wants to gasp and overreact like the women in all of those day time TV dramas his mom would pass out to. Instead he leans back and and cocks his head.

“Maybe he's taking pity on him.” Kenny can kind of see that being the reason why. He's always been the one to makes sure Cartman still gets invited to events. Even though he's a big annoying cunt, Kenny does have a little bit of a soft spot for his old childhood friend. 

“Kenny, it's Kyle, I love him, he's basically my brother, but he's the most bull headed asshole I know. He already has it ingrained in his head that he hates Cartman's guts, I highly doubt pity will make him change his world view. ” Kenny crosses his arms, he's seen with his own eyes Kyle almost sacrificing himself for Cartman.

Was it stupid?

Yes.

Did it make Kenny fall in love with Kyle a little more each time?

Yes.

“Yeah, but remember when he went camping in our sophomore year and some Eldritch being came up from the river to try to drag us to hell?” Kenny rubs his face when he sees that Stan is just looking a him dumbfounded. He forgot that anything that has to do with any of  Lovecraft's monsters is instantly forgotten. “never mind, that was a vivid dream I must've had. Anyway the time when we were stupid enough to listen to Al Gore and we went looking for manbearpig in the cave and we almost died when it flooded. Remember how Kyle risked his life to save the fat ass.”

“Yeah but,” Stan sits up then he eases back into his chair, “ You're right.”

“Kyle probably just wants to keep the group together, especially since Cartman is so insufferable that he can't make friends of his own.” Kenny plays with the lid of his coffee. He wants anything to help distract him from the bubbling feelings in his gut.

“He seems to be the leader of the neo-nazis on campus.” 

“I would lie and say I'm surprised.”Kenny takes the final bite of his sandwich. “But those aren't quality friends like we are.”

“That's a joke.” Kenny looks up to see Tweek standing over the table adjusting his apron. 

It’s no surprise that his parents make him work on his vacation. 

“So you'd rather hang with nazis, than us?” Stan looks up at him, his lips quirking in to a smug smirk. 

“Oh I- uh- di-didn't hear that part.” Tweek finally fixes his apron tying the string into a neat little bow in the front. “but in all honesty a room filled nazis are better than all four of you.” Tweek picks up the empty plates from their table and walks off.

“Who pissed in his cereal.” Kenny takes the last sip of his coffee.

“I don't know, he's been a bitch since Craig broke-up with him.” Stan stage whispers to Kenny, making sure to keep his eyes focused on Tweek.

“I can hear you! Get the fuck out!” Not wanting to piss Tweek off even more, Stan and Kenny stand and make their way out. Deciding that there wasn't anything more to discuss they decide to part ways. Kenny kept offering Stan a ride home but he declined, some cheap excuse that he was meeting someone. 

He would press for more info but right now he doesn't really care to hear about Stan's personal life, he's rather go back home and sulk over Kyle rejecting him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Current Joys - Become the Warm Jets


End file.
